Stereotype claims that someone my age should be out busting the roofs of parties and living the real version of Hangover I, II, and III(?). Except no marriage and I’ll keep my teeth intact. The tattoo on the face? Contemplating a beautiful mixed baby of Pringles and Mr.Monopoly.

Sadly, my life is comparatively boring, then such a brilliant thought of the 21st century generation hits me that I am shocked at myself.

On a thursday evening, throwing away my garbage and bringing it out to the driveway like nobody’s business I got jealous of my neighbors and felt inferior. I don’t have as much garbage as they do. Well hell, for someone who recently picked up the whims of National Geographic, I’ve obviously learned a lot from ominous foreshadowing of (exact same) environmental disaster broadcasted 24 years ago.

But the then and there primitive logic was that, ignoring the fact I am one person creating 1/4 of their full family’s worth of garbage, just why the hell do I not have as much.

On the bright side, I did learn some interesting facts from David Attenborough that I’ll regurgitate like an old person for the appearance of wisdom.

1. The weight of all the world’s ants is equivalent to humanity.
Therefore, on my bio poem in English I said, I fear the world domination of ants.

2. An ant could withstand 100x the force of gravity than a human and stay attached.
Seriously sorry that I bullied ants for fun as a child.

Aside from this obviously life enlightening knowledge, I found my other favorite animal aside from pandas.

uakari monkey Uakari Monkey –  what a beauty, their tail is only a fat furry stump 1/4 of their body length, and to make up for their lack of agility they throw their weight around on branches to fling themselves around – making the world work at your leisure is definitely an example to be followed.

To cap off the punchline in starting this romantic month, after one session of an 2 hour dance session my lower back and the right side of my behind drowns in masochistic erotica. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, god, this is what old people feel like. They wake up, and die.

Honestly, my ass is very sorry at the moment.