It’s preposterous that people have all these apprehensions as to how I bully/rape adore my cat. I simply see no fault in me pressing my face against the fur that has probably rubbed against all the nooks and crannies of my carpet and is slicked with his saliva. Don’t even get me started with his love for sniffing his litter box. His face is a prize to kiss.

and this shall forever bless the pages of the laughing duck
and this shall forever bless the pages of the laughing duck

Not to conform to what had gone viral since the appearance of facebook and such – the ‘duck face’. Before all else, please do not make a connection with me and this face. Now, in the future, or ever. Having said that, I find myself making that face everytime I jumble sweet nothings to my baby.

Somehow I suspect this is how he views my face.

For all the pet owners out there, other than birds, cause those are mean suckers that once pooped in my hand and pecked at me. Not because I woke it up in the middle of the night or anything, which had nothing to do with watching ‘The Mummy’ before bed. This excludes all fish owners obviously; if you’re asian you’d probably eat them the moment you finally got it in your hands, bones and eggs and everything. It’s a delicacy. This does not even apply to dog owners. Who wants to kiss a rascal that has all the contamination of the outside air. It isn’t our fault we polluted it.

No, this is strictly stretching out to the feline owners. Unless you own a Sphinx cat, then I’m half wary and half about 10 feet away. No offence.

Finally, for those who share my experience, there’s nothing else like rubbing your face into a mat of soft fur – who may I gloat, sheds a thousand fur per day – then leave with a furry facial. If you’re a female, then you may also share with me the feeling of trying to carefully, but always failing to not slap wipe half your make up off cause you realize it isn’t sexy to have white fur up your nose.

Not that we’ve established how wonderful cat-smelling is, here’s a few tips for those with a new feisty feline who does not liked to be violated given so much attention…

First. Every time you return home you go hug that little fur ball. Praising it with oohs and ahhs of how much you’re enjoying their touch. Simultaneously inducing the same comfort of closeness for them; they might as well get used to it.

Second, if he/she happens to dare and run away – playing the hard ball here cause they aren’t just going to settle to be anyone’s pet (also meaning you must triumph, that way you’re not only going to be able to smell them, you can brag about how special you are and of all the hardships the two of you went through before you came about permanent paradise. Cause that’s how all relationships goes). In case you forgot the point – GIVE IT A GOOD CHASE. Nothing flatters a egotists (which I could stand for are applicable to all cats), more than being relentlessly chased after. Unless you live in a palace, it won’t take long before your limbs catch on to the urgency of the brain.

If anyone asks, scoff – You both need that sense of comfort. It’s mutual. 

If it happens that you’re super lucky and your kitten trusts you to enter your domain – the bed – you immediately grasp onto them and fall asleep happily ever after. Taking one big whiff after another of their sensory smell.

If it happens you’re one of the poor souls that has never gotten this experience, you’re missing out pal.

It’s a combination of scentless kitty saliva, a dosage of poopoo’s and (if your litter box is scented) the mingling of number 1’s&2’s with the scented lavender gravel trying to do it’s job. There’s also the undertone that tells you how clean your carpet is and how wonderful it smells after you’ve walked on it day after day.

What can I say, it’s a kitty smell. You gotta try it.

As for me, my baby always greets me in the morning with a few trickles of drool down my neck (on weekends). On week days he loves delivering a loud meow – which my sister argues to be a human cry – and then giving me a love bite to the ankle because I’m taking too long admiring myself in the mirror.

When I return home he’d lazily scratch/stretch at his cat post and then swiftly run off when I go near him. Obviously I catch him in mere seconds with expertise, we then engage in one-sided, mutual lust in which I bury my face within his soft belly fat pouch and duck face him – telling him how much I’ve he’s missed me.

It’s really the perfect relationship, and I think it’s going to last me quite a while.

Tribute : Milo (my-low)

drinking from my straw cause equality is the thing in a relationship
drinking from my straw cause equality is the thing in a relationship
oh saturday mornings. you're up babe? give me a tummy rub
oh saturday mornings. you’re up babe? give me a tummy rub

 

 

 

 

 

 

damn, just look at that profile. might I mention that ass also.
damn, just look at that profile. might I mention that ass also.