Every time an idea comes up for what I should write via the Duck’s blog, the first question I ask myself is always – is this some douchebaggery along the lines of twitter#Idon’tcare, tumblr#notsohotguys, myspace#dyingcyberspace, instagram#uselesslifelines, facebook#letmeinviteyou56timestoagameyoudon’twanttoplay.
That last one is a lie, I’m absolutely obsessed with candy crush out there. And I am so definitely that person who spams people for lives. So sue me, I’m a Duck, only got this one life.
Hence whenever I come home and have some totally irrelevant story to share, I wonder to myself, good wiggles, am I possibly just ostentatiously elaborating my ideas beyond “Omg, it was so fun to chill with @DiddyKong and @WreckitRalph. Getting the bad guy vibe.” So that it may pass in disguise as some smart mouthing bloggery instead of just a regular girl who’s day consists of asking herself why her cat doesn’t love her?
Is the Duck just that good? Or your readership just that bad.
And no, it has never quite occurred to me that blogging might just be the same as all those other c
rap crowd sites out there. It’s just that us bloggers have some wickedly handsome charms in typing completely borderline inappropriate content like the way the Duck randomly sputtles to makes her first impression.
Regardless, let’s give some props for all those deflated sites in keeping my webbers grounded.
Facebook – where you tell people the immediate forecast.
“Omg, did you hear that lightning?!”
No sir, I must’ve died for the past 10 minutes as the remake of the Ox’s magical windstorm swept through. It’s just you who’ve noticed out of the 25 others who’ve posted the exact same thing.
It’s also the place for my dorky friends to #humblebrag and try lame jokes at engineers.
“First year back from UBC. Wasn’t that bad.”
My Duck’s behind it wasn’t. All your AP vs building your own robotic crab was not lost on me. I ought to punch you.
“Teacher told us to get off of our phones, we’re engineers, we’ve got no life anyway.”
But for that, I won’t.
Tumblr – where all the shenanigans of who’s the ugliest derp on the cover goes down.
“His abs; so hot” or “Her boobs; so soft”
Sorry to break it to you, but Photoshop isn’t hot. Or it’s just his face. Or it’s just you. Yeah it’s you. I just want to piss you off. And plastic boobs aren’t soft. Or the girl’s got no boobs. Either way.
I’ve also witnessed quite a few ‘re-tumbles’ if that’s the right term (as you can see, I don’t have this) of hideous optimum.
A good guy will do (&*TR along with (*@^%# and &#I for a girl.
Sorry hon, what you need is a mom. Or a dad. Or a counselor. Unless you dirty minds out there thought of something I had not anticipated until I proof-read this.
I think we should just all be more bitter. – “A real person is acrimonious” I think that should go viral.
Twitter – Personally it’s like the ultimate rights to stalking grounds. It’s hips to joint with craigslist. Or it’s your unfiltered crummy thoughts.
“Just went to the gym. Getting a power shake. Buying yogurt in a few.”
I don’t give. So kill me, I eat sugar filled cereal and drink..viola, regular water so I’m not hijacked on some level of stupid in order to look big and tough. Or thin and frail, the other way around.
Today, it has also become the modern day ‘assimilation ground’ for teachers to try and be hip.
“Parent meeting/interview @7pm tomorrow night! Come to the gym for some hasta la vista!”
It’s like watching Bambi on ice.
Instagram – Has now become your free entry to overly saturated and tampered with food items from a variety of places you have neither the time nor money to go to.
Or shin diggles, it could be a hoe fest of selfies. Camera up. Smiles !
It’s a lie when they say S.m.i.l.e – one size fits all.
And the pedestal goes to……..
For being such a wonderful hypocrite in fulfilling the criterias of : sharing #Idontgive information half the time, with the other half completed by #crazycatladylove on this wondrous blog she just complained of of it’s intrinsic foundation.
At least I may alleviate this situation (and my bad examples) with the fact that I have none of these other than Facebook.
But I really do think we’re so much better. Maybe it’s the way we rinseandwipe© things and claim to be