And this isn't even your lame Facebook ad.
And this isn’t even your regular lame Facebook ad.

In officially 6 more school days I will be out of school. A.k.a all hell would have gone loose. I will be that non-descriptive Canadian that you all think live in igloos and make the first non-American shooting at schools in glee. Teehee.

Although I’ve already apologized for this a dozen times, sorry for slacking off. I’m starting to wonder whether I say that for my own ego or.. nothing. It was my ego talking. Though strangely enough, the phenomena of followers when you’re shutting up has periodically flaunted its wings at me during this period. Nothing extravagant, but I do just wonder. What the hell guys. 

Too bad though, cause I’m not shutting up for anything.

For a short recap my life:

Yesterday my mother finally got released from the hospital after a few days. Not a terrible crisis, but some unexplained blood losses that went down, especially bad for her cause she’s already had low blood pressure for awhile, so she’s on prescription drugs now. Which means for the following however-extended-brief period of time, the Duck will once again have to dunk under water to fish for herself. What a drag. If you didn’t catch the unscrupulous way I was tending for cooking advice, there you go.

I did however celebrated my birthday, and seeing as I’m practically a full month late, this also concludes the period of the year where the Duck will have any spare change at all, as everyone she loves and detests in good fashion are lined in a chronologically monthly-interval-ed birthday series until October. Eff you all.


I also attended a GIN (Global Issues Networking) Conference in Squamish last month. Went as the introvert I was, and came back as an..introvert any who. Who makes new friends these days?

*Got free food. Recommended by the Duck.

Went to my cousins’ commencement. Boring as a boop. I’ll die if my valedictorian pulls out Robert Frost’s famous road.

Freaked around at Lyn Valley again, when my mom’s boyfriend brought us there (before the hospital visit) because there is in fact a trail meant for people and not just bicycles, as  my mother had led us to the last time.









And just 5 minutes ago, cleaning my cat’s litter box, I seem to find the downstairs bathroom used and not flushed.. 2nd time in a row. But nobody’s at home, much less actually use the bathroom. Especially with the way my mother installed in us to steer guests far, far away from the litter box. Life makes you wonder some time eh. But to hell if I’m having any ‘guests’ as Tracy does – if you’re reading this, send him back to Australia. Not cool.

Lastly, I learned some hella wicked jokes so I hope you all laugh your socks off.

Seriously, so good that my lamest cousin died.

“What happened to the guy who lost the entire LEFT (as pointed out by jeezes its a sad day) side of his body? – Don’t worry, he’s all-right”

“Why was the ocean embarrassed? – Cause all the fishes could see its bottom.”

“What did the bison say to his son when he went off to college? – Bison.”

Honk-a-tonk. Rooty-toot. I’ve still got it.

So swim faster you godamn Duck, and just make it to the end already.

I’m swimming, I’m swimming – I’m waddling. That’s what Ducks do. Until they become a grotesque Asian cuisine.