In light of everything that has been happening around in the world (quite distressing – no comment as a Canadian), I took a moment instead to think about what exact source of entertainment we use, most eligible to be quoted as a ‘waste of time’.

As a perfectionist, I tend to feel bad about mindless menageries on my days off. As if I had better things to check off my list than morphing my cats into karma sutra yoga poses on my lap.

I really think they enjoy it.

This thought of mindless entertainment was first prompted when I read amongst all the blast of newsfeed going around the internet about the apparent Armageddon just rustling south of my country. Yet just along the side columns, also trending were titles such as:

Pokemon Go : How to successfully swap with your neighbors without losing (I want to say distance, but clearly I wasn’t reading this too closely)”

This was accompanied by,

The 840th chapter of world renowned manga seriesinsert name –honest to god, I should pay more attention – whether, let’s call him Puki will be forced to marry, we’ll call her Lucy in the Pirate’s home in, let’s just finish with Edel Island.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the prime time distraction of our time.

Serious topics at hand, I thought about my mother’s singular contribution to this vortex of aforementioned notable news when we were at the pet store.

“I think I ought to get a turtle as a playmate.”

I just told her to make sure not to put the tank beside her windows too long.

“Why’s that?”

“They’ll roast in their tank, that’s why.”

“Oh, really?”

I love my mom, I do.

turtle
Guess you can’t say no to that.

Now let’s try putting it atop a water bottle and watch them flail.

*No animal abuse is perpetuated. Mental distraught is not nearly as high on mortality rates. Worst thing we’ll do is make turtle soup – but only after the natural phenomenon of combining concentrated sun rays and modern glass, in which case, cause of death is surely by natural means.